The internet may have made it easier to find new singletons that are just right for you, but that doesn't mean dating has got any easier. If anything, it's harder.

Fortunately there are some people that seem to know exactly what to do in the modern dating world. Whether you're a newly single girl who isn't sure how to separate the freaks from the geeks, or a guy who wants to know what little gestures will melt her heart, from presenting her with Lindt LINDOR chocolates or a bouquet of flowers - this live WebTV show will have everything you need to know to ensure you're not single this Valentine's Day.

And if you're already in a relationship but need a helping hand, don't worry! Life coach and relationship guru Jenni Trent-Hughes is here for you too. Send your question in now or tune in live to ask her for tips and advice on guaranteeing the perfect Valentine's date.

Jenni Trent Hughes joins us live online at www.webchats.tv on Monday 8th February at 14:30 to discuss modern relationships

For more information visit www.lindt.com/uk

H: Vicky Letch, host
A: Jenni Trent-Hughes, life coach

H: Hello I’m Vicky Letch and a very warm welcome to the Lifestyle Show. With Valentines Day just around the corner and an explosion of online dating opportunities, now really is the time to get out there and get romantic. Whether you’re a newly single girl who isn't sure how to separate the freaks from the geeks- poor guys - or a guy who wants to know what little gestures will melt her heart, stay online because joining me today is life coach and relationship guru Jenni Trent-Hughes. Hello –

A: Hello

H: A very warm welcome. Are you ready to get smoochy-doochy with me in the studio today?

A: Why not?

H: I don’t really know what that means, but thanks for being game all the same! Now do remember we are live so if you do have any questions for Jenni or of course any relationship issues, perhaps you want to know how the whole dating “thing” actually works, do click your questions or comments in the box below, press submit and then we’ll answer as many as we can over the next 15 minutes. So Jenni, we know of course Lindt Lindor have recently commissioned some market research in and around the idea of chivalry – is it indeed dead?

A: Well it’s really quite interesting – the way I look at it is, it’s not dead, it’s just taking a small nap and we need to kind of poke it and wake it up a bit

H: Ok

A: So – and a lot of it has changed, you know, it used to be that chivalry meant that someone flung their cape over a puddle so that you can walk on it and not get your shoes wet

H: Yes. It’s a bit much

A: It’s a bit much

H: Bit much

A: But over the years, it changes and now what we expect is quite different than what someone would have expected 10 years ago, 20 years ago, 30 years ago

H: Yes

A: And it’s very confusing, especially for men because they’re kind of – they don’t know what to do. They want to do something but they don’t know where to start

H: It’s hard for them, because I know there are certain people – well I know certain girls that don’t want the chairs pulled out for them, they don’t want the doors opened. But it is interesting because I looked up the word “chivalry” in the dictionary and actually it means quite basically courteous and consideration

A: It’s just about manners

H: Yes

A: Also I want the names of your friends who don’t want the door opened and the chair pulled

H: Busted!

A: They’re going to be busted because I have interviewed thousands of women –

H: Yes

A: Over the past 10 years, and I have never met anybody whose said “I don’t want anybody opening my door. I don’t want anyone pulling out the chair for me.” What difference does it make? If I get on the bus and I see someone whose pregnant or older than me, or tired, I get up and offer them my seat, I don’t care if it’s a man. It’s about – well if they’re pregnant and it’s a man that’s a bit different

H: That’s a worry –

A: That’s a worry

H: You’ve got quite a good documentary idea, yes

A: But it’s about manners. It’s not necessarily – chivalry isn’t necessarily about romance –

H: Yes

A: It’s about good manners,

H: Yes

A: And we should always have good manners

H: Yes. And also I think now and again, you know just back off ladies, let the men do their bit. I am guilty of this Jenni, when we do the food shopping with my other half, I will quite often struggle with the shopping bags, and he says “for goodness sake, give me the bags” and for some reason I feel that I have to carry the load of the food home, I don’t know what it is, it’s something in-built in me. He thinks I’m trying to prove a point but I don’t really know what the point is that I’m trying to prove

A: Well that’s another topic as well, because I do a lot of work with women about the whole concept of improving the quality of your life

H: Yes

A: And actually we’re in a dangerous position nowadays because we can’t quite make up our minds what kind of woman it is that we want to be, and for some reason we feel that you need to be all one thing or all the other

H: Yes

A: And that’s not true, and that’s what’s making it difficult for the poor guys, because they don’t know if this is their Monday / Wednesday / Friday girl

H: Yes

A: Or the Tuesday / Thursday / Saturday girl

H: Yes

A: And so I think that as women we need to understand that it’s viva la difference - it’s a little bit of this

H: Yes

A: A little bit of that. That’s what makes you interesting

H: Yes

A: And then let your other half know what it is that you want

H: Yes

A: Also I have a huge complaint in that I’ll say to a girl who complains – “my guy’s not romantic, he never does anything” – and then I’ll say “what’s the last romantic thing that you did for him?”

H: Yes true

A: “Oh I don’t have to do anything for him.” Well nowhere in the dictionary does it say romance – something boys do for girls

H: Yes

A: It’s not that.

H: Yes

A: Men like – if you really want to send a man over the edge, send him some flowers

H: Really? See I wouldn’t think to do that

A: Buy him a box of chocolates, give him some flowers. He will blush, he will just absolutely be completely thrown off guard

H: Putty in thy hands!

A: Putty in thine hands

H: Yes I like the sound of that

A: With the right kind of guy, sending him flowers could possibly get you more distance than black and red lingerie

H: Really?

A: Oh absolutely

H: What if you delivered the flowers in black and red lingerie? Haaah!

A: Oh then that’s it

H: Sold!

A: That’s it. I can get a hat and a frock and I’ll have a wedding to go to!

H: Do remember of course we are live, as if you can’t tell! If you do have any questions remember if you’re dating at the moment, perhaps you’re online dating, anything at all, ask this lady your questions, she is all-knowing, aren’t you? In the world of things love-like

A: Well if I was really all-knowing I’d be in the South of France with – on a boat with –

H: Who?

A: Well that’s interesting – who would it be?

H: Who would it be?

A: I have to think

H: This is your fantasy, I can let you enjoy that for a while

A: Yes ok

H: What about if for example Valentine’s day which is very close is your first night with said person, what can they do to ensure that it’s a lovely, romantic experience?

A: I have to say that I’m a brave woman. Very few things rattle my cage. Going on a first date on Valentine’s day would probably have to be up there

H: Yes I agree

A: As a frightening thing to do, and one of those why on earth would you do that?

H: Yes

A: But if you feel for some reason that you have to do it, just treat it like any other date. I mean you can bring a small token of something

H: Yes

A: You know a small box of chocolates, you know like a teddy bear like that or something, so that you acknowledge that the day exists, but it’s like any other first date, or any other date – focus on the person that you’re with

H: Yes

A: And make them feel that for this particular moment in time there’s nowhere else that you’d rather be, nothing else you’d rather be doing

H: Yes

A: No one else you’d rather be looking at

H: Yes texting on the phone

A: Oh that’s not even –

H: I’ve been there, I’ve been there

A: Have you really?

H: I’ve – can I just – do you mind – “yeah ‘ello Dave. Yeah I’m on a date. Yep – what’s your name again?” I mean I have had that

A: No!

H: Yes that’s my story

A: And hopefully there was no second outing

H: There was no second date, no second date

A: Oh ok

H: But on that subject, and having been single for a couple of years, and you know I’ve tried the dating thing, I’ve been out there, I’ve put myself out there, I do think in a lot of cases you have to give someone a second date because for some people first date nerves, as you’re saying, really can rattle someone’s cage, and you don’t get a good idea of who they are

A: I absolutely agree with that, but then there’s certain things that you know, there’s certain things that you can see about someone, like for example I used to have a thing about grey shoes.

H: Really?

A: Yes and I knew that if I met a man and if he was wearing grey shoes, I knew that there was no future for us, or I used to ask men “do you like cats?” and it didn’t matter, they didn’t have to have a cat,

H: They just had to like them

A: It was their reaction to the question

H: Ok

A: So if they said “well I’m a dog person myself”

H: Yes

A: Then that would be fine. If they said “cats are really creepy and scary and awful” then I would know that there was no need for us to go anyway, because if they were that insecure that they would be rattled in that way, then I knew there was no future

H: And what about people who have a checklist because lots of girls obviously now – I mean for goodness sake one of my closest girlfriends has a list from here to here

A: I want her name as well

H: Ok

A: Because –

H: You can have it because she needs help

A: Tell her to email me, because the thing that’s really important, if you want your life to be successful, and this isn’t only about romance, but you need to establish the difference between things that you need and things that you want. Things that you need are things that you cannot exist without, things that you want are you know – it would be nice to have them

H: Yes

A: So for example I need somebody whose intelligent and funny. I want someone whose tall and maybe has red hair

H: Yes

A: But of course it’s not going to be the end of the world for me if he’s short and bald and wears glasses

H: Exactly, yes

A: If he’s intelligent and funny

H: Yes

A: When people have a checklist, usually girls come to see me and I say ok let’s go through your checklist, 98-100% of the things on a checklist will be things that you want

H: Yes

A: And they’re usually material or physical

H: Yes

A: And all of that can change. So –

H: Yes

A: So no checklist

H: I agree. I agree with you. Now what about online dating because if someone did have a checklist, I suppose with online dating then you have that opportunity to have a little bit of a shop before you actually purchase anything

A: The problem is –

H: Not nice terminology but you know where I’m going with this?

A: Yes the thing is though – if you are somebody who operates by a checklist, online dating is actually phenomenally dangerous for you because it’s very easy when somebody has a checklist to be one step ahead of them, to know what’s on the checklist

H: Yes

A: And if you’re somebody who lies, then you know

H: Yes

A: You know you just –

H: And they do exist, yes

A: You know then you just sort of give the right answer

H: Yes

A: Or give the answer that the person wants to hear, so you have to be really careful about that. The thing about all of this, you know romance, chivalry, meeting up with someone – it all comes down to getting back to basics and really understanding, which is one of the good things that’s come out of the credit crunch, is understanding that it’s the simple, little things that count

H: I agree

A: You know just the small gestures, things that make somebody feel that you’ve been listening to them, that you’ve been paying attention, that you remember when she said that her favourite flowers are pink peonies and her favourite colour is dusky pink, you know and so then you give her something that relates to that, or when he says that the first record that he ever bought was, you know blah blah blah and you go out you get a CD of it. That’s romance

H: I totally agree and like you say it’s so very basic, it’s just listening and remembering those tiny things and it does go a very long way

A: Yes because the thing about it is – for me one of the biggest definitions of romance is something that somebody does for you that they could not do for anyone else

H: Yes

A: Other than you

H: Yes

A: You know so in other words it’s not – you know I’ll get two of them, one for my sister and one for my girlfriend

H: Yes

A: Or you know I’ll get three of them and I’ll give my mother one as well – then it’s not romantic

H: Yes

A: It’s about a memory – it’s sort of about paying homage to a memory that the both of you have created

H: Yes. Beautiful. Right let’s start running through these questions then, thank you very much for everyone who has sent questions in. This one’s from Sam and it says “my girlfriend’s friends are all going out with really wealthy guys. I know they will all be showered with gifts on Sunday and then my girlfriend will compare notes with them.” Aha, any tips for Valentines on a budget?

A: Oh absolutely. First of all, one of the things that he can do is make her a perfect evening

H: Yes

A: So you know get a little certificate, you can go on the internet and they have lots of certificate sites for free you can print out a certificate and make it whatever you want, and it’s for you know Chloe’s perfect evening and you have the music that you know she likes

H: Yes

A: You buy stuff to make a picnic, of just her stuff. You set a bath and put rose petals in the bath with candles and then you cook while she’s in the bath. You write her an absolute rubbish poem. I had somebody write a poem for me recently, and it wasn’t somebody I was involved with who said you know “I hate Valentines, Valentines is all rubbish” and I said ok you have 3 minutes, write me a poem, and he was like “aah I can’t, I can’t”

H: Yes

A: And he did it, the poem was hilarious, he had a ball and he said “wow that was actually quite easy, and I enjoyed it”

H: Yes

A: So doing something and doing something once again it’s about what’s going on between the two people, that’s what’s important

H: Yes

A: So it’s not comparing, my gift is better than your gift because my gift cost more than your gift

H: Yes

A: That’s wrong

H: And the meaning’s gone then hasn’t it?

A: It’s the wow factor, it’s the bang factor where I know that if somebody gave me – I don’t know you know a bottle of £400 perfume, I would be much more touched by somebody who had given me a certificate for Jenni’s perfect romantic evening

H: Yes, yes

A: Win every time

H:Yes and I’m definitely with you with that, absolutely because I did a similar thing for an old boyfriend of mine, not old in age, old as in gonner

A: Nothing’s wrong with old in age then?

H: Nothing is wrong with old in age

A: Ok, us old folk need love too

H: Old folk! Tim thank you very much Tim, he says “Jenni what’s the best Valentine’s gift you’ve ever been sent, I need inspiration?”

A: Well once again this is one of those things where what would be good for me wouldn’t necessarily be good for Tim and his girl, but I’ll just say that it involved socks and a Christmas tree! Now which would mean absolutely nothing –

H: Nothing

A: Nothing to anyone else but it meant something to me and the person involved, and also the other thing that women really love is if you step – if Tim steps outside his comfort zone, so that’s one of the reasons why rubbish poems or hand made cards always win a woman over, or cooking her a meal, because if it’s something that you don’t normally do, or you’ve never done before, and you’ve stepped out of your comfort zone to prove I like you so much

H: Yes, yes

A: That I’m doing something that’s made me uncomfortable

H: Yes

A: Then a woman knows how much you care

H: And also I think that’s – well the way I think, if something like that does happen I always think you’ve taken quite a lot of time out of your day for me, specifically for me, that makes you feel very special as well I think

A: That’s why flowers that have been hand-picked make a better impression than flowers from the petrol station forecourt

H: Yes absolutely. Generally flowers from the petrol station forecourt – not a good idea! Emma, thank you Emma, she says “hi, I have a big first date lined up for Sunday – what’s the etiquette, should I offer to pay or should I expect the man to pick up the bill? Any other tips?” This is an interesting one

A: Yes this is an interesting one in that I do feel that on the first date a man should pay, however I feel that in 2010 a woman should offer, but she should offer after the bill has arrived. So in other words he asks for the bill, or the bill is presented, and you – you know go to reach for your handbag or whatever and say – would you like, and then if he’s a gentleman he’ll say no thank you. Now however because we’re in 2010, I think it’s important that that not become the habit or the status of the relationship, and if you don’t have, if you’ve just started out working, you don’t have a lot of money, whatever then you say “do you want to come over next week and I’ll cook you a meal, or I’ve heard the new such and such movie’s really good”

H: Yes

A: You know, I’ll pick up tickets if you’d like to go. So that you’re not putting yourself as a gimme gimme gimme kind of girl

H: Yes

A: But on the first date I do think that he should pay

H: Do you know what, I have to say, I am in that sense quite old-fashioned I think first date it’s nice for the man to make a bit of a gesture like that, but second date onwards and if they’re lucky enough to get to five or six, I’m split 50/50 all the way

A: Yes

H: Because I don’t think it should be the man’s responsibility all the time

A: Well what I actually like, and this is in any kind of relationship where things go back and forth

H: Yes

A: So in other words he takes care of one date, you take care of the next date

H: Yes

A: And it’s like I remember when I started dating and I was living in New York and somebody would say you know let’s go out, where do you want to go for dinner, and I would never ever say because I thought I don’t know how much money he has, what if I say that I want to go some place that’s really expensive or whatever

H: Yes

A: So let him take care of it and the next one I would take care because I knew what my circumstances were, and so back and forth kind of thing

H: Yes absolutely

A: I think is the way to go

H: Yes good good. Another question here, this one is from John, thank you very much John, and he says “with Valentine’s Day round the corner, how can I ensure the perfect day?”

A: Well from the research that we did, we found that there are a couple of things that women really want and things that they don’t want, so first of all it’s really important to remember that whatever it is that John does, that it’s – no matter how small the gesture – that it’s thoughtful and it means something to the both of them

H: Yes

A: Also what he is not to do – but I’m sure he wouldn’t because John’s a very nice boy, I can tell – if he takes her out, he’s not to be looking around at other women in the room, he’s not to be texting his friends or Facebooking or Tweeting or anything like that

H: Yes

A: He needs to be paying attention to her. And the one – one of the great things about doing research is you find out things sometimes that you never would have dreamt up. Do you know that there are people who have been out on dates and the person they’ve been on the date with has kissed someone else on the date?

H: On the date?

A: On the date! So John whatever you do, make sure that you don’t kiss anyone else other than the person you’ve gone on the date with

H: That would be a really wrong way to go wouldn’t it?

A: Very wrong, very wrong

H: I hope that helps! This is from Dan, thank you Dan, it says “Vicky what are you going to do for your man on Valentine’s Day? Us blokes like the chocolate too you know” – well actually do you know what, I am working on Valentine’s Day so the following night I’m going to cook a romantic meal – chocolate pots, all sorts going on. And I mean all sorts!

A: You have to do something on the day.

H: Well

A: So you see –

H: Maybe. Do you think?

A: Yes.

H: I wasn’t going to

A: No, no you – it’s one of those things like your birthday where your birthday is your birthday. You can celebrate your birthday on other days but there’s one day that it’s your birthday

H: It’s one day yes

A: You know – and one of the great things is - I mean I don’t want to get into your personal business, I don’t know if you live in the same place, but little notes –

H: Oh cute

A: Little notes

H: Yes

A: All around the house are wonderful, and it can be – like let’s say look at these little chocolates and you’d get a piece of ribbon and a little you know piece of paper

H :Yes

A: And you write a message and it’s like a – treasure

H: Trail

A: A treasure hunt

H: Yes yes

A: A treasure hunt, so the first one says “I” and then the second one says “really love” “you” “and” “can’t” “wait” “for” “tomorrow”

H: Cute

A: You know and so that’s cost you next to - ooh I just got the goose bumps

H: I know that’s really cute – and he will so know I didn’t come up with that! He’ll probably watch this show and go “aha yes I knew that wasn’t your idea”

A: But it doesn’t matter because you’ve done it

H: I’ve done it

A: So it doesn’t matter if it was your idea, you did it

H: No that’s a lovely idea, Dan thanks for that because

A: Yes

H: It’s made me think, I will do something lovely. So let’s just summise then, Valentines Day, very near, you don’t have to go out and spend lots of money, it’s about being –

A: Absolutely not

H: Considerate

A: It’s about considerate, it’s about remembering small things about your relationship that will show the other person that you’ve remembered, that you’ve been paying attention to what’s going on

H: Yes

A: And that you’ve thought about them

H: Yes

A: And that’s all you need

H: And I have to say from a personal point of view, if all else fails just get the girl chocolates we always love chocolate. Seriously, I’m anyone’s – box of chocolates, I’m there! Jenni thank you so much, you enjoy your Valentine’s Day

J: I absolutely will

H: Have a lovely time. Right that is all we’ve got time for today. F or more information about melting that girl’s heart visit lindt.com/uk, thank you very much for watching and I’ll see you again next time. Goodbye

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