H: Liz Spate, Host
F: Flic Everett, Agony Aunt

H: Hello and welcome to the Lifestyle show, brought to you today by Wrigleys, I’m Liz Spate. Now I can’t be alone in wondering what’s the secret to the perfect kiss, and how do you know if the person that you really fancy is going to be any good at kissing or not? Now wouldn’t it be fantastic if somebody could come up with a formula that would tell you how good a snog is going to be before you actually take the plunge? Now in what is clearly the scientific breakthrough of the century, scientists at Wrigleys have done just that, they’ve come up with a formula that is the key to the perfect kiss, or so they say. And to discuss that formula with us we have lovely Flic Everett with us

F: Hi

H: And Flic’s an agony aunt, welcome along Flic

F: Thank you

H: And you’re looking lovely today I have to say

F: Oh thank you very much

H: Very sparkly!

F: Yes I am very sparkly

H: Now Flic’s going to be taking some questions from you later on. She’s also going to be talking to us about the formula, and she’s going to be giving us five top tips on how to achieve that perfect kiss, so stick with us we’ll be talking about those top tips a little bit later on. But back to the formula, now the formula has been put together by scientists at Wrigleys to celebrate the launch of their new chewing gum, Extra Ice which has a special liquid burst in it to keep your breath really fresh, because you never know where that first snog is going to come from do you? So Flic, you’re going to tell us about the formula, how does it actually work?

F: Well ok, there is a lot of maths involved –

H: Oh dear!

F: It’s basically like a little mathematical formula but in actual fact it’s really simple, what it breaks down into is how much you like somebody, added to how much you fancy them, plus how fresh their breath is

H: Right

F: Which is absolutely key obviously

H: So you need your gum there for that

F: Absolutely

H: Your Extra Ice

F: Yes you definitely do, and also how fun they are to be with as well, and that’s just the boiled down version of all the things that go into making the perfect snog and it’s in that little equation there

H: It looks a bit complicated

F: It does

H: How would I work this out, say I was in a disco and I saw someone that I really fancied, how would I work it out?

F: Absolutely, well you might not want to whip out your calculator, but you could certainly bear in mind the key factors that go into making the formula, and work out how long you’ve actually liked them for, added to all the other factors like how fanciable they are and really whether they smell nice, and is their breath nice, and you can tell that when you’re close up to somebody in a club or wherever you can actually tell whether their breath is good or not

H: Now it’s quite different for boys and girls though, it’s quite interesting isn’t it?

F: Yes there were some real differences, it’s quite funny actually because for girls the other factors, the variables I believe they call them in the maths world, the other variables were how romantic the boy is

H: Ah

F: Yes, quite sweet, how much he makes her laugh and what sort of hair he’s got which was quite a weird one but they care about hair, girls mind whether a boy has nice hair or not whereas for boys it was a lot more simplistic, you’ll be amazed to know! It was – mmm for boys it was much more about is she attractive? Do his mates think she’s attractive?

H: Ah street cred

F: Absolutely because if his mates don’t rate her, if they don’t think she’s gorgeous, then she loses points in the equation

H: Oh dear well there you are

F: And the whole thing falls down

H: Well we’ve got a question for Ian, he wants to know why are there different formula for boys and girls?

F: Well because as we say boys and girls both want slightly different things and because of course boys tend to be much more visual creatures, they are going to rate appearance more highly perhaps than a great personality or whether somebody makes him laugh, because boys do react very strongly to visual stimulus, and that’s just a fact of nature as well, and for girls it’s a lot more, of course attractiveness matters but it’s a lot more about the overall package for girls – is he funny, is he cute, you know does he make you laugh?

H: It’s more about personality –

F: Exactly yes, is he someone you can be a good mate with as well?

H: Ok now remember that this is an interactive show and we’d love you to take part, so if you’ve got a question for Flic about relationships or kissing then do get in touch, all you need to do is to type your question in the box that’s on the screen, put your name down there and where you’re from and press submit and it will come zinging through to us and we’ll try and get through as many as we can. Now I should ask you as well Flic, can you remember your first kiss?

F: Ooh now I have to say I can, I was 14 years old

H: Ah not that long ago then really!

F: No just a matter of a few short years there Liz, 14 and I were at a bus stop, how romantic! Yes

H: And what was it like?

F: A bit wet and unpleasant if you want the honest truth

H: Oh dear

F: But bless him he was trying his best and I didn’t know what I was doing so the fact that he’d taken me to see a car showroom first might have been a factor in why it wasn’t that great

H: Oh well there you are, he knows how to show a girl a good time

F: He really did, he said this is my favourite car showroom, come and have a look at it with me and then he kissed me! I really felt like I’d won the lottery that night!

H: Now we have a question in from Cathy and she wants to know “how come both boys and girls enjoy a kiss if they’re both looking for different things?”

F: Well I think they’re not entirely looking for different things, I think what we’re talking about is the fact that slightly different things come into play for both of them, but both boys and girls, they do want a bit of romance, boys might pretend they don’t but if they really like a girl they want some romance as well

H: But it might not look cool in front of their friends to talk about romance

F: Exactly, when can a boy ever talk about romance, it’s not going to happen but in actual fact he can, you know enjoy the same things that the girl does, the closeness, the intimacy, the nice physical closeness of being with a girl and her for being with a boy, so there’s a lot of things that obviously come in common for them both as well, it’s not just about he only wants some hot supermodel and she only wants goopy romances, it’s not that simple

H: Now we have another question in from Dawn, she doesn’t say where she’s from, but she’s asked how does she talk to a boy that she really fancies? Where do you start, it’s quite difficult isn’t it?

F: It’s really tricky and the only advice that ever works on this one, and listen to this because this is important is to treat them like a mate, and it’s really hard because obviously your heart’s pounding, you’re blushing you’re going all funny with excitement, but at the end of the day he’s just a guy and you’re just a girl, and that’s all it is, and he’s probably terrified –

H: Yes exactly

F: If he fancies you

H: But he wouldn’t want to show it

F: Yes absolutely, nobody wants to show it, because part of being a teenager is about looking cool and wanting your mates to think you’re cool, nobody’s cool inside, they’re all terrified but it’s just about you have to just be yourself, and I think the biggest mistake is pretending to be someone else and pretending to be a lot cooler than you are and lying about things that you’ve done or things that you’ve experienced because you’ll get found out, it’s as simple as that, it’ll all go wrong, you’ll get found out, be yourself

H: Are you talking from bitter experience?

F: No of course not, whatever makes you say that?

H: Now I know a lot of teenagers particularly have braces these days, can you kiss someone with a brace -

F: Yes

H: Is it a safe thing to do if you’ve both got braces, what if you get stuck?

F: Absolutely, no I think that is a fear, because a lot of teens – it used to be more of an American thing because they have so much orthodontistry over there -

H: But they all have beautiful smiles, it’s worth sticking with it isn’t it?

F: They have beautiful smiles, absolutely you get gorgeous teeth at the end of it, look at Ugly Betty she’s going to look great one day, but I think that if you’ve both got braces I can see why there’s a bit of nerves going on when you’re moving in for the clash of the brace, but actually if you just kiss with your lips you don’t have to – you shouldn’t be mashing your teeth together anyway, let’s face it, who kisses with mashed teeth, the brace really shouldn’t come into play at all because kissing on the lips and if you do use your tongue a little bit and have a French kiss that’s not going to get in the way either, so I think people get themselves in a bit of a state worrying about it, but it doesn’t really matter at all

H: And you shouldn’t be embarrassed if you’ve got a brace -

F: No

H: Because a lot of people have them and at the end of the day you are going to end up with a nicer smile which is going to attract more people

F: Absolutely you’ll have gorgeous teeth

H: At the end of it

F: That’s right, yes you’re going to look lovely and it’s definitely worth sticking with it

H: Now we’ve got another question in from Peter and he asks “how can you use it [the formula] to work out if somebody will be a good snog or not?” So if you’re, I don’t know say it’s someone in your class or something, how do you actually use that formula to work it out?

F: Well you have to assess, you can – I mean if you want to get really mathematical about it there, and it’s typical that a boy has asked this question isn’t it?

H: Yes exactly, boys -

F: Boys are very good at maths aren’t they, how can I apply technical know-how?

H: It’s a good question though

F: And I think that what you can do is if you really want to you can score out of a certain amount you know, decide the amount that you’re scoring out of, probably 100 and score for how much do you like them, how fanciable are they, you know do you have a laugh with them and is their breath nice? Key, key factor because bad breath is the enemy of all good kissing

H: Oh it really is -

F: It’s terrible

H: Even if somebody’s really really attractive and you really really fancy them you go in for that clinch – oh dear, what have you had for lunch?

F: Absolutely yes it’s all over at that point

H: So maybe keep a packet of Extra Ice in your pocket -

F: Oh I think so, I think so. Well you know the research that they did at Wrigleys Extra Ice at the Dry Spell Institute they’re calling it, it’s really funny actually -

H: And what’s a dry spell?

F: The dry spell is the period of time that you go without a snog basically

H: Oh that’s a bit sad isn’t it?

F: The snog-free period is a dry spell

H: Oh dear

F: Yes so that’s what they’ve applied their research to, how to avoid those dry spells and how to make it all better

H: And if you are having a dry spell, what do you do?

F: What do you do? Wait for the next snog to come along. Well you don’t want to get too obsessed with it because obviously people can always spot desperation a mile off

H: Yes you don’t want to be lunging at people do you?

F: Absolutely not, you don’t want to be going up to people saying “I haven’t had a kiss in 40 days, help me” but you want to make sure that you’re prepared as well and make sure that you look nice, say you’re at school, you want to go into school looking good because the worst thing is to think “oh well nobody’s going to snog me so there’s no point in making an effort”

H: Yes

F: Because then -

H: You never know when your luck’s going to be in do you?

F: Absolutely you don’t and you don’t want the self-fulfilling prophecy of thinking it’s never going to happen and then it never does happen, so make sure you’re looking nice, make sure your breath is nice, be friendly – smile, smiling is key to getting snogged

H: And actually we’ve got a question in from Jay saying “how do you go about meeting a girl and getting talking to her?” because you’ve got to do that really before you go for that kiss haven’t you?

F: Absolutely, yes

H: And it is quite difficult isn’t it, especially when you’re of a certain age

F: Oh it’s really tricky, really tricky and I think the hardest thing is when you are at school or even at college, sixth form college or wherever, or uni, the hardest thing is when you meet somebody you are surrounded by all your mates and all their mates

H: All their mates yes

F: Which is just awful

H: What about chat-up lines, is that a good idea or not?

F: Well chat-up lines never a good idea, especially coming from teenagers because it sounds so cheesy, it just makes you sound like some old bloke at a disco doesn’t it and it’s just no no no. But I think the best way to meet members of the opposite sex as all the old people say is to get an introduction through a friend that both of you know

H: Friends of friends

F: Friends of friends is brilliant

H: Because you know they’re going to be ok -

F: Yes sisters of friends, brothers of friends, cousins of friends, and if you can’t do that I always think a really good tip is to go outside of school because at school or college you are known for being a particular way, you know you are the clever one or the fat one -

H: Or the one that never gets a boyfriend, yes

F: The one who never gets a boyfriend, exactly, whereas there’s loads of clubs and societies, sports things, drama things, choirs, anything that you can join outside of school is a really good idea because then you meet a whole new bunch of people who don’t know the school you

H: And you can start again as it were

F: Yes exactly you can reinvent yourself a little bit. As long as you tell the truth

H: And maybe bring some of your friends along to potential snogees!

F: Exactly, always expanding your social network is a really good idea if you want a snog

H: Is a really good idea! Now Jessie from London is asking about the regionality, that’s a big word isn’t it, about dry spells, are there certain areas of the country that people do more kissing than others?

F: Well funnily enough they kiss a little bit more in the north

H: Really?

F: Yes their dry spells are a little bit shorter up north which is great news for me because I’m from Manchester

H: You’re a Manchester lass aren’t you?

F: I say good!

H: Do you do a lot of snogging then, does that ring true?

F: All the time; well not at my age darling but the teenagers do I believe

H: Oh I wonder why that is?

F: It’s the cold nights, there’s nothing better to do

H: Do you think? Do they need to snuggle up and – yes how lovely

F: That’s exactly what it is!

H: What about down south I mean we don’t do too badly do we?

F: No no actually it’s quite interesting because there wasn’t that big a difference regionally between dry spells and who snogs the most and the least, so I think it’s only like a few days in it in terms of the difference

H: Oh right

F: So you’re still getting plenty of snogs down south, don’t worry

H: So I shouldn’t move up north then just to get more snogging action?

F: Not yes, no

H: There’s still time

F: It depends, but don’t give up!

H: And do people fancy different people in different areas of the country, you know sort of film stars and that sort of thing?

F: Well Wrigleys Extra Ice did a survey actually and asked teenagers who they fancied most and it was quite interesting, because you’d think they might say Brad Pitt,
Angelina Jolie, no didn’t get a look in, it’s actually the top two, girls most fancy Justin Timberlake, and boys most fancy Jessica Simpson so there was only a very slight difference in that, bizarrely in East Anglia the woman they most fancy is Lindsey Lohan

H: She’s not from East Anglia is she?

F: She’s not remotely from East Anglia and I’ve no idea what that’s about!

H: She’s been there I wonder?

F: Maybe she has

H: Maybe she should

F: But there’s a big welcome waiting for her in Norwich I’ll tell you!

H: Now we’ve got another question comes in from, come in from Hamster, I’m not quite sure where Hamster is from, but he wants to know “at what age do you actually stop getting dry spells?”

F: Never, well when you get married it’s probably a good bet to say you’re on safe ground there, although my husband might disagree -

H: What you mean you get lots of snogs?

F: You get lots of snogs

H: Lots of snogs, yes

F: When you get married, but up until that point, which may be several years in the future, there is no guarantee, there really isn’t because you can be in a relationship for years and then suddenly you’ve finished or you’ve decided that you don’t want to be with that person any more and there’s no guarantee that a nice person’s going to come along. There’s no point snogging just for the sake of it

H: No no exactly

F: You might as well wait until you find someone you like so yes you’ve got to be prepared for them to happen, but also prepared for them to be ended pretty quickly

H: Oh dear

F: I know

H: That’s so sad isn’t it?

F: Oh I know but honestly it’s great though when you do get a snog after a bit of a dry spell, it can feel like -

H: The magic’s back

F: Yes the magic’s back and you feel so excited and you feel like you’re really attractive again and you feel like it’s all brilliant, so it does pay to be prepared because it’s always the night you think you’re not going to meet anyone and you go out in your oldest clothes with your hair unbrushed but hey if you’ve got fresh breath you’ll be alright

H: Yes it’s like hey you’ve got your Extra Ice in your pocket and you’re prepared

F: Absolutely

H: Aren’t you, you’re prepared for anything

F: You’re pretty much prepared

H: Now we’ve got a bit of a health-related question come in from Kelly-Ann and she asks “can she actually catch anything from kissing boys?”

F: Well generally speaking not usually, but you can get cold sores if you’re not careful, but only when they’re visible, you know and you probably wouldn’t be kissing a boy who had a nasty big cold sore anyway would you, so you can catch obviously viruses like colds and things like that yes but nothing weird and frightening, it’s just cold sores and little viruses. You know you’ve just got to be careful that the person you’re kissing looks healthy

H: Yes

F: Just make sure they look healthy, clean

H: That they haven’t got big boards saying I’ve got germs or anything like that

F: Yes exactly and they’re not sneezing and they’re not hacking their guts up like a sea lion, you know -

H: It’s not brain surgery really is it

F: Not really, just keep an eye out

H: Well we’re about halfway through the show now and we’d love you to get in touch, if you’ve got any questions about kissing or relationships then Flic would love to answer them -

F: I would

H: So just type your question in the box that’s on the screen, put your name and where you’re from and press submit and it’ll come through to us and we’ll try and get through as many as we can. Now I’ve got a question for you about lip gloss

F: Ok

H: We ladies like a bit of lovely lip gloss don’t we I know

F: I’ve got lip gloss on now

H: But is that a bit of a turn-off to blokes do you think?

F: I think too much is, too much is very scary, it’s like red lipstick you know they think they like it and then they get up close to red lipstick and they just panic, because where is this going to go, it’s going to be all over me, I’m going to look ridiculous

H: And also the girl’s going to get it all over her, it’s just a disaster isn’t it?

F: Completely, you’ll end up looking like a big clown

H: So what do you do?

F: So what you do is a little dab of lip gloss, you just need – lip balm is better than lip gloss, especially when you’re younger because you don’t want to look like Joan Collins in a mini series, not that Joanie isn’t gorgeous, but you don’t really want to resemble that level of glamour when you’re like 16. So I think a bit of lip balm just to smooth your lips and get rid of any nasty chapping and things like that, and it can smell nice as well

H: Yes that’s true

F: Bit of a boost

H: Might taste quite nice

F: Yes a nice taste you know

H: And the other thing, what my husband is terrible at this – shaving rash

F: Shaving rash

H: I mean it’s just, they come at you with a face like sand paper and wonder why you get upset about it

F: Absolutely because even teenagers once their hormones start rioting, they can have stubble too, you know they start shaving sometimes as early as 14, even younger, and I think this is one of the things that boys have to be really aware of is that shaving rash can really hurt a girls’ face. We have very delicate ladylike faces boys

H: Yes exactly

F: And it’s not nice, and I think that it’s no good just using moisturiser – you need to shave if there’s any chance of a snog in the offing, just shave first, it’s not going to kill you, it will be really nice for her, she’ll much appreciate it

H: Even keep an electric razor in your bag or something if you’re going out in the evening

F: You could do if you’re a real smooth talker you could do that

H: I would do that if I was a bloke I think, speaking from bitter experience!

F: Maybe just before you go out would be fine

H: Now talking about the formula again

F: Yes

H: Back to the science, Jenny wants to know, she’s never kissed a boy before and she wants to know should she use the formula to help her pick up her first boyfriend

F: Well she can certainly apply it because I think sometimes if you’ve never kissed somebody you can get a bit carried away and the first person that looks like they might be interested you think yes yes yes, let’s go for it

H: You’re the one!

F: You’re the one, I’m going to marry you! But actually if you just bear the principles of said formula – I need a pointer and a white coat don’t I? If you bear the principles of the formula in mind it can really help actually because if you say to yourself right how much do I fancy him, how long have I liked him for, have I liked him for an hour, am I feeling a bit desperate and he’s just arrived and I’m thinking come on then, and also does he smell nice because that is key

H: Yes

F: And does he have nice breath and clean teeth?

H: How do you find out if they smell nice though, do you just have to waft past them a few times

F: Yes I mean when you’re talking to somebody

H: Yes that’s true

F: They’re about this far away from you

H: If they’ve got BO or they’ve been eating garlic you can tell can’t you?

F: You can tell, believe me I’ve been on public transport and I know, you can tell and especially when they’re talking at you, you can definitely get a little whiff of their breath and if you want to check if you’ve got nice breath as well you can do the old cupping hands -

H: Does that work do you think?

F: it does. It’s a bit gross actually but if you lick your hand and then -

H: Ah that’s a good tip

F: It’s a bit yukky but it does work

H: Or just steer clear of those really smelly foods if you’re going to be going out

F: Yes definitely. Or at least chew the gum afterwards, get the mint in, because mint doesn’t offend anybody, whereas garlic probably does

H: What about the old spinach in the teeth problem? People go on about that don’t they – and are paranoid about that -

F: I’m paranoid about that, honestly, just before I was like this, honestly. No I think pocket mirror is invaluable. You’ve got to check your teeth because nobody ever wants to tell you. I’ve been out for whole evenings and then realised I’ve got a lump of black stuff wedged between my teeth

H: But nobody told you

F: Nobody told me

H: I always – I’m not very discreet I would tell -

F: Thank you, I appreciate that because it’s a lot better to be told isn’t it?

H: Well talking about better to be told, what if you and your boyfriend, you know you’re getting along in your relationship, you’re kissing quite a lot but you don’t really like the way they’re kissing or they’re doing something that you don’t like but how do you approach that, what do you do?

F: That is a really tricky one and when I was a teenager I had a boyfriend who was really nice in every way, could not kiss

H: Oh dear

F: And at the time I didn’t know the answer to this, but I do now kids and I can tell you, what you do is right let’s play a really fun game, you show me how you’d really like to be kissed and I’ll show you how I’d really like to be kissed, and while they’re basically keeping their mouth still and not doing anything -

H: That’s a good idea

F: You say I’ll show you how I want to be kissed most in the world that is really thrilling and that I love, and you show them exactly what you want them to do to you and then of course, most people want to please their partner

H: Yes

F: Most boys are just desperate for a tip to help them along the way

H: Yes. You’ve got to remember that both sides are probably a little bit nervous -

F: Yes absolutely, it’s really scary -

H: And everybody wants to be doing their best don’t they, whatever it is

F: For sure and when you’re a teenager kissing is probably the most intimate you’ve ever been with another person if you don’t count sharing a bath with your little brother when you’re 4 you know and I think that really to do it for the first time or you know when you’re just getting launched on the world of relationships it’s really frightening and the thing to remember is that everybody’s scared

H: Yes exactly

F: No teenager goes into it going right kissing, know all about this

H: I’ve done this before, quite, quite

F: Because they haven’t, everybody’s scared so it’s just as well. If you are going to say something though, if you are going to say I don’t really like the way you kiss, just do it nicely and do it kindly and show them a different way, if you’re in a relationships you should -

H: Don’t say “eerh you’re rubbish””

F: End of relationship coming up, any minute

H: Yes exactly probably wouldn’t do your street cred any good if you heard about that. Now we’ve got a question in from Hayley and she says “how long does the perfect snog last for, and can the formula tell you that?”

F: I’m afraid it can’t, I have to say the perfect snog lasts as long as the two people involved in said snog want it to because really you can’t say ooh yes coming up to 70 seconds now, bing – stop. I think, you know, that one thing to bear in mind though having said that, it is a good questions because sometimes, boys particularly, girls might do this but obviously my only experience is of boys, is that they go on and on and on because they’re enjoying and they think this is really nice and she’s really loving it -

H: So how do you come up for air, I mean how do you -

F: You’ve got to come up for air, absolutely you’ve got to. I think the perfect snog also entails just breaking off occasionally, you know whispering a few things to each other

H: Yes

F: A few little loving remarks, staring into each other’s eyes, stroking each other’s hair because obviously in the formula hair matters to girls

H: Yes that’s right

F: Let’s not forget, nice silky clean hair is pretty crucial

H: Yes

F: And I think that you really have to build in those little snog breaks during

H: Yes exactly

F: You can snog all night if you want to, if you’ve really nothing better to do

H: As long as you’re not going to get shaving rash

F: Exactly, make sure you’ve shaved first

H: Now we’ve got a question in from Simon, he’s obviously a little bit shy he says that he really likes this girl and he wants to talk to her but he’s quite scared of it

F: Yes

H: He’s worried that she won’t be interested in him

F: It is scary and I wish I could say here’s a magic wand and it won’t be scary any more but it is scary Simon and it’s a very good point, and I think he’s raised a point that absolutely every teenager comes up against as well, that talking to somebody you fancy is possibly the most terrifying thing you’ve ever done, and you don’t know if they like you, you don’t know what to say. But again going back to the earlier point, you have to pretend that they’re just a mate you have to think to yourself how would I behave if this was a mate, but a mate that I really respected and admired, not just some -

H: Yes the problem is you can lose face but so what?

F: Yes exactly, but what I would say is if you want to talk to somebody that you fancy it’s very important not to be surrounded by your mates, or by their mates

H: Or giggling and shoving each other

F: Or giggling and nudging each other, he’s talking to her look, you loser, you don’t need that so try and get her on her own is my top advice on that one

H: So maybe I don’t know catch her in the corridor at school or something like that?

F: Yes absolutely, or on the way out of school if you both walk home, just catch up with her as if by accident, you know you just happened to have – and see if she’s doing anything after school, does she want to go for a coffee or a coke or does she want to go and do something at the weekend?

H: Or maybe ask about telly or something that you’ve both seen on telly or -

F: Yes exactly

H: Or a class that you’ve just had at school or something

F: Yes, a mutual interest, criticising teacher, that usually works!

H: Ahh. As long as they all hate the same teacher then you’re alright

F: Exactly that will bring you together

H: Now Rob in Oxford has come up with a good one, he wants to know “is it better to kiss with your eyes open or your eyes closed?”

F: I would say again it does depend on personal preference obviously, but I would say generally speaking closed, closed, closed because honestly -

H: Aah, it’s more romantic isn’t it?

F: it’s much more romantic, it means you can concentrate on the sensations that you’re feeling and really enjoy the intimacy

H: Yes

F: And also if you’ve got your eyes open it’s like this, you’re like a booger on a lens

H: It can make you sea sick!

F: Yes oh is she blinking now, should I shut my eyes now or in a minute, you know – I think close them!

H: Close them yes definitely. Now then if you’re homing in for your first kiss, can you practice at all on the back of your hand or – I used to do that when I was younger

F: I think everybody does, it’s really sweet

H: And is that a good way of -

F: Practicing on a pillow, on the back of the hand – well I think you can practice all you like, it doesn’t do any harm does it. I mean realistically when you kiss somebody for the first time you won’t be remembering anything you practiced, you’ll just be in the moment and it’ll be thrilling and fun and a bit bumpy noses -

H: Yes

F: You know it won’t be like when you practiced on your own but -

H: Or like it is on the telly

F: Or ever like it is on the telly which is just a load of rubbish and nobody really kisses like that. So I think that it’s just about working out where the noses go, how to get the teeth angled

H: Which way do you go then -

F: Yes absolutely it’s – and there will be mistakes, it comes from experience

H: It doesn’t matter as long as you can laugh about it

F: Absolutely, exactly and not take it too seriously because if you like each other you can just keep trying till it works out

H: Well exactly yes

F: Keep going, it doesn’t matter

H: Yes you’ve got years ahead of you

F: Exactly, exactly so I say practice all you want but don’t get too hung up about it and don’t expect the real thing to be like the practice

H: No or like it is on the telly as I said

F: No or in the movies

H: In the movies they seem to kiss for ages don’t they?

F: They really do and it’s all a bit gross really, just too much tongue and it’s just oh we don’t need to see that thank you

H: Talking about tongue I mean people have a bit of a hang-up about that as well don’t they, should you use your tongue, should you not – what’s your advice on that?

F: I think that’s the thing and it is a tricky one because a lot of blokes, particularly boys they think that the way to kiss a girl properly to show a lady a good time is to use their tongue endlessly and continuously and it’s really not, and a little bit of sparing tongue flicking is absolutely fine, it’s sensual, it’s intimate, it’s nice, but I think too much just feels like you’re having your cavities excavated

H: Yes it’s not very nice is it

F: it’s not nice at all and it just makes you want to choke really. I think a little goes a long way when it comes to that

H: And again when someone is doing that and you don’t like it, just gently -

F: Just pull away, you can just pull away and smile at them and just go back and give them a little kiss on the lips as if to say alright enough of that let’s just take it from where we left off slowly, because boys do have a tendency – I’m not being unfair on boys, girls might do this too but generally it’s boys who tend to zoom in for the kill

H: Yes, yes

F: And they do have a tendency to go a bit too full on straight away

H: And it doesn’t necessarily mean that they fancy you more does it, Janine’s got a question, she wants to know “how can she tell if a boy fancies her?”

F: If he fancies her. It is tricky, because boys, like girls are very good at hiding the signs because it’s embarrassing when people know that you fancy someone isn’t it, you might get teased, but ways of telling are do they laugh at your jokes, do they smile at you a lot, do they make eye contact because eye contact is a really big thing

H: Right

F: if they’re looking you in the eye. Having said that though if they’re really shy and they fancy you they might not be able to look you in the eye at all, so either no eye contact or loads of eye contact is usually a giveaway with that. But also little body language things like if they lean forward when they’re talking to you, if they touch you on the arm to make a point -

H: Ah yes

F: Even if they say oh you’ve got a hair in your eye and he’s stroking it away

H: Oh yes

F: There’s definitely things going on there

H: Things to look out for

F: Definitely. And if the boy’s quite young though the way to tell is that they’ll tease you, horribly and mercilessly

H: And pretend that they don’t like you at all?

F: Absolutely. Playground fancying, it’s a kind of -

H: Now Jane wants to know what should and what shouldn’t you talk about on that first meeting with somebody, maybe on that first date?

F: Ah yes, that’s quite a sweet one, I mean there’s no should and shouldn’t, you can talk about anything that you feel comfortable talking about but generally speaking I would say for comfort avoid ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends

H: Ah yes that’s a good point

F: Exactly. Avoid anything too personal like do you like the way I kiss, do you think I’m pretty?

H: Oh dear

F: Because anything like that, there’s only one answer unless it’s all going to be a disaster, and you don’t want to go down that route, you just want to assume that they like you because otherwise they wouldn’t be there. So no sort of questions about how much do you like me?

H: Sounds a bit desperate

F: Little bit desperate, and I think generally speaking you can’t say don’t talk about this topic or that topic but you can say don’t show off too much. Try and be yourself and it is really difficult because you do want to impress the person and you want them to like you and fancy you, but if you’re trying to boast or if you’re trying to be something you’re not because you think that’s what they want, it’s all going to go wrong, they’ll find out that’s not who you really are, you’ll feel silly and embarrassed – just be who you are I would say

H: Now Andy’s asking “when is the right time to get rid of the chewing gum?” If you’re going in for that kiss -

F: Tricky

H: He never knows quite when to get rid of it – what do you do?

F: We should have done a formula on that really – Wrigleys Extra Ice say -

H: Well you’ve got your Extra Ice so you’ve got your fresh breath, but then what do you do with your gum?

F: Yes I think the only way to deal with this subtly and pleasantly is just to turn aside completely right away if you possibly can and have a little bit of tissue or a little bit of paper to hand and just spit it very subtly into the paper, wrap it up chuck it in the bin

H: Put it in your pocket, something like that

F: Yes if you have to put it in your pocket, but make sure it doesn’t come untangled

H: No

F: Or it’s going to be really unpleasant

H: It’ll be a sticky mess. So that’s a really good tip, you’ve got some good tips for us about kissing, that’s number one, what else have you got for us?

F: Yes get rid of your chewing gum

H: Get rid of your chewing gum first yes

F: Because you don’t want to be sharing that particularly

H: No you don’t

F: Number two is as we said before, be gentle, don’t go in for the kill, because that is really unpleasant, and it’s intimidating as well people go -

H: You’re not eating each other are you?

F: Absolutely and I think yes a really unpleasant expression is sucking face and I think you don’t want to be sucking anybody’s face you just want to be gently kissing them

H: Yes

F: Number three is to use your hands on their face and their hair

H: Yes that’s really romantic for girls isn’t it?

F: Just gently, really romantic, girls love that if you use your hands just stroke their face, not anywhere else mind, but just their hair and face, and a little bit of facial cupping like that to show that you’re really thinking about them and drawing them towards you

H: They do that a lot in the movies don’t they/

F: They do do that and that works

H: Yes it’s really romantic

F: I’ve got to say movie kisses are sometimes silly but that one works, that’s nice. Where are we up to number 3?

H: Number 3 I think

F: I think look into their eyes is really important

H: Right

F: As well, definitely look into their eyes. Not the whole way through, you’ve got to shut your eyes during, but as you’re zooming in for that kiss you know make eye contact because otherwise it looks like you could be anyone and they’re not really bothered about who they’re kissing. Eye contact is key if you want to be intimate which I’m sure you do

H: And number 4 – are we on number 4?

F: I think we’re on number 5

H: Are we up to number 5 now?

F: I think we’re up to number 5 now – number 5 is don’t go on too long as we said -

H: Ah right yes

F: A kiss can last any amount of time but you must make sure you break off occasionally because otherwise you will be gasping for breath and it’s not very sensual to be going uuggghh -

H: Passing out with your partner that wouldn’t be very good would it?

F: It’s not nice so pull away and pulling away is a really good chance as well to just stroke their face or look into their eyes a bit or move their hair -

H: Say something sweet

F: Say something nice

H: Something romantic

F: Sweet nothings exactly, exactly that yes

H: Well there’s some fantastic tips there Flic so thanks very much, so that’s about all we’ve got time for on the show today. Remember if you need any more information you can go to the website which is Flic?

F: It is www.dryspellinstitute.co.uk that will help you out with your kissing

H: Lots of kissing tips, or of course you can just click on the link which is on the screen, so Flic thanks so much for coming in today

F: It’s a pleasure

H: Really interesting stuff and I hope that you can put some of Flic’s tips to good use out there

F: Me too, no more dry spells

H: No more dry spells – happy kissing and we’ll see you next time, bye