We may be living in an age when women can have it all, but do you find the pressure to be perfect in every way is becoming overwhelming?

Trying to make sure you’re excelling at work, spending quality time with your partner and family and taking care of their nutritional needs as well as your own is becoming a challenge for many of us.

So is it time to just accept the inevitable and give up on finding some peaceful equilibrium in our lives, or is there some kind of secret blueprint to achieve what we all strive for - balance?

The Flour Advisory Bureau has conducted an extensive survey with women up and down the country to explore how their daily demands impact the balance of their lives. Which areas do they feel most guilty about neglecting? How many really have the time to cook from scratch, even if they want to, and what are the guilty pleasures they will succumb to?

These, amongst a host of other common issues will be revealed, along with their solutions, in our live web TV show where life coach Allison Mitchell will show you how to give yourself time to achieve your most important goals, and celebrity mum Mich Turner will prove you can have it all with her inspirational story of business and family success.

Nutritionist Fiona Hunter will also show you how to make easy, nutritious eating the norm by letting you into some secrets on how one of the UK’s favourite foods, bread, can create many different and healthy meals for your family.

With 99% of households buying bread, this show will give you some practical ideas on how to reap the full benefits of a classic family favourite that is naturally low in sugar and lower in salt, is enriched with calcium and is a good source of protein and fibre - whilst still being utterly delicious!

Allison Mitchell, Fiona Hunter and Mich Turner join us live online at www.studiotalk.tv on Friday 30th July at 11am to discuss how to 'get a balance' in your life.

For more information visit www.fabflour.co.uk

Get A Balance Webchat

H: Lis Speight, host

A: Allison Mitchell, life coach

B: Fiona Hunter, nutritionist

C: Mich Turner, mum and entrepreneur

H: Are you one of the millions of professional working women, or busy mums who are struggling to juggle career and family life, while still holding on to some all important me-time. Well, if so, keep watching, because today I have not one, but three experts who are going to be talking us through some simple, but effective solutions.

H: Hello and welcome to Life and Style, I’m Lis Speight. Now, sometimes even the most organised of us ladies struggle to finish everything on our to-do lists – I never finish mine I have to say – and this often leads to enforced compromises on things as simple as finding to time to make sure everyone including you is eating properly, to ensuring true quality time is spent on family, friends and loved ones. After a tough day, rushing around at work, or running a busy household, the pressure doesn’t stop when the kids get home from school, and they’re either bouncing off the walls, or expecting food on the table. And all of that before your partner has even walked through the door. Does that sound familiar? Well, here to talk about some of the solutions to getting a bit of balance back into our lives is life coach Allison Mitchell

A: Hello

H: Welcome, Allison, very nice to see you today. Nutritionist Fiona Hunter

B: Hello

H: Welcome, Fiona. And mum of two and founder of The Little Venice Cake Company, Mich Turner

C: Hello. Hi.

H: Good to see you, Mich. Thanks for coming in. Coming up on today’s show – striking the perfect life balance, just how can we fit it all in? A detailed look at your, and your family’s nutritional needs, and all your questions answered here live, in the studio. As well as your live questions, if you’re on Twitter, you can comment on anything discussed by using the # tag studiotalk. Well, let’s talk a little bit first about how busy we all are. Allison, we just seem to have such complicated, busy lives these days, don’t we? We feel the pressures and demands of so much going on. What are the most common issues and how do we go about tackling them?

A: Well, the Flour Advisory Bureau has done some research and what it found is that 44% of women feel stressed most of the time, because that’s a lot of time, so we feel a little bit unbalanced. And it’s not surprising really, when you think about what we have to do in a day. We get up in the morning and most of us are so busy with what we have to do, whether it’s children, getting out to work, that a lot of us skip breakfast. A quarter of us skip meals, 46% of us actually skip breakfast of that quarter so we’re already getting off to a terrible start by running on empty, if you like, throughout the day. And as we get through the day, we’ve got children to deal with, we’ve got jobs to deal with, we’ve got shopping, cooking, lots and lots of stuff. So there’s just lots going on and of course on top of all of that, we’re trying to keep our partners happy, aren’t we?

H: Yes, exactly.

A: Trying!

H: Do you think that we’re our own worst enemies though? Do we expect too much of ourselves these days? Is modern living just too hard?

A: I think there are a lot of choices out there for women, there’s so many things that we can be doing and sometimes we pile our plates a little bit too high. It’s like one of those eat all you can buffets. We tend to put a little bit too much on and then we can’t actually eat it without giving ourselves indigestion. But I think that there are certain things that we do as women that make our lives more difficult. For example, 70% of women, according to the Flour Advisory Bureau research, actually said they put themselves at the bottom of the pile, so instead of making a bit of me time for themselves, instead of creating a bit of balance in their lives and doing things that would make them feel balanced, they’re constantly doing things for other people. So that’s a point at which I think a lot of women need to step back and say “OK. What do I need to change to make my life a little bit more balanced?”

H: And how to we go about getting a bit of me time in there? Should we schedule it in, like going to the dentist or whatever?

A: It sounds really prescriptive saying that, but that actually is the way to do it. Because if you think about it, I often speak to women and they’ll say to me “I need more me time! I need more me time!” and I’ll say to them “OK. If you had me time, what would you do with it?” and sometimes they have to stop and think

H: Sleep! That’s what I’d do

A: Yeah. Well in this survey, 53% of people actually said they’d have an extra hour of sleep. Now, that’s something that you can actually schedule in. The first step is knowing what is it you would do with your me time. When you know – and let’s say for example it is sleep, you want your extra hour’s sleep – I would say to you get your diary out now and schedule it in. If it’s going to be tonight, that means you go to bed an hour early. I know it sounds really simple and really straight forward, but sometimes, the smallest and most simple changes, just making a little change here and there can have a big impact, so definitely schedule it in, and then stick to it because it’s ever so easy to cancel things that you’ve put in for yourself.

H: Yeah, exactly, well you are always bottom of the pile, it’s so true isn’t it? You’re so busy trying to get everyone else’s breakfast…Fiona, you’re the nutritionist – we’re going to be talking a lot about nutrition a little bit later on – but people skipping breakfast, that’s not going to be good, is it?

B: Well that was one of the things that was highlighted in the survey and the women that responded, a lot of them busy mums, busy working women, said that they put other people’s nutritional needs before their own, so that they made sure, for instance, that their children ate well, started the day with a healthy breakfast, but they themselves skipped meals, 23% of people said that they skipped meals. 46% which, you know, for me as a nutritionist, really is the most important meal of the day, because if you expect your body to work without the proper fuel, it just isn’t going to happen. It’s like trying to get a car to run without any diesel or any petrol in it.

H: I have to say, breakfast I find really easy, because you just put a couple of slices of toast in, don’t you, that yummy, seeded toast, bread or cereal and it’s quite an easy meal really.

B: Exactly. I mean, when you drill down and you ask people why they don’t have breakfast, they say that they don’t have time, but as you said, it literally takes a couple of minutes just to pop a few slices of toast into the toaster.

H: So no excuse! Mich – you’re obviously very busy, you’ve got two young children…

C: Yes

H: … two little boys…

C: Yes, two boys

H: …and you’ve co-founded this company

C: Yes

H: How do you do it? How do you find time to balance your life?

C: Well, it’s an interesting question, thank you, and you were saying it seems so simple and one of the biggest things that people say is about having time. For me, my house first thing in the morning is like boot camp and I have a huge amount of lists, whether they’re mental lists, like I have my to do list, or I have physical lists of things to write down. You know the mental lists are those routine, every day, I’ve got to get up, I’ve got to get the boys fed, get the beds made, get the school bags packed, all of that sort of thing. And quite often, it runs to clockwork if the children wake up on time.

H: Yes

C: If they don’t, you know…

H: It’s not always like that unfortunately is it?

C: No! And if they don’t, you’ve got to plan and change things around a little bit.

H: How old are your kids?

C: I have George who’s three, nearly four, and Milo who’s seven, nearly eight

H: Yes

C: And they’re brilliant, because first thing in the morning when they are up and moving, they know that we have to go through this list of one to five, and five is when they’re all up and ready for school, once they’ve had their breakfast and their teeth are cleaned and their bags are packed, that’s when they can sit down and read a book, or watch some television or do some playing, but they have to get through one to four first, and number one is have breakfast. And it’s as much a social part, because being a working mum, I find that this time of the morning with my children is sacrosanct. It’s when we sit together and we all have our own different breakfasts and we all choose what we’re going to have, but it’s time that we can sit, and talk together and have a meal together and share it round the table, which is so important

H: That’s really nice that you can do it at breakfast. Most people are hightailing it out of the door, aren’t they?

C: We do get up at ten to five in the morning

H: Oh my goodness! Now I can see!

C: We start early

H: Obviously to fit it all in

C: I think that’s the thing is that we give ourselves plenty of time at that time of the day…

H: Yes

C: … to give ourselves plenty of time to set up, because it has set us up, ready for the day moving forward

H: Yes. And how do you fit in me time then? It seems like there’s always somebody wanting your time

C: It’s interesting again, me time. I find that a lot of mums, they can’t really relax with their own me time, until everything else on their to do list is ticked, everybody else is fed, everybody else is sorted, they’ve done the washing, the shopping, the cooking, the ironing, the cleaning and then it’s me time. So I think it’s not procrastinating, not deviating from the path of all the chores you’re going to get done within the day, and really highlighting what the me time is. Whether that’s cleaning the house or it’s going for a run…

H: Cleaning the house? Me time?

C: Yes

H: Is that your guilty pleasure?

C: It is. And shopping

H: Well that’s alright, whatever floats your boat. Well, look, stay watching because next up we’re going to be discussing family nutrition.

BREAK

H: Hello, well if you’ve just joined us, I’m Lis Speight and I’m joined by three lovely ladies and we’re talking about how to get a better balance in your life. We all need a bit of balance and a bit of me time, don’t we? Let’s turn our attention now to nutrition. Fiona, the reality is that after a frantic day, hectic day, we don’t always have time to prepare a meal from scratch. Can you think of anything that’s full of energy and health that will keep us going, that’s easy to prepare?

B: Well, before I talk about that, I just wanted to pick up on something that Mich said, because she talked about breakfast and how important it was that they sat down…

H: Yes

B: …which is great, it really is an important meal, particularly for children, but what came out of the survey was that although mums knew that it was important for their family, they were missing out, often missing out on breakfast themselves. Now that’s just a real no no if you’re a busy…if you have a busy life style, because trying to get your body to work efficiently without fuel is like trying to start your car without…

H: I couldn’t go without breakfast. I have to say I always have toast or cereal…you know if you have the multi-grain bread it really keeps you going, doesn’t it?

B: Well, absolutely! And how long does it take to pop a couple of slices of bread in the toaster? Again, another thing that I always recommend for busy people is that they eat regularly. So having had breakfast, most people get up…most mums get up quite early, stop and have a snack around half past ten, eleven o’clock

H: I always have my second breakfast. I started that when I was breast feeding, having my second breakfast and I always do. I have it around 11 and it’s just a little few minutes in your day, and I find it just keeps me going

B: Again, something like if you want to split your breakfast, so you have one slice of toast and then your second slice at 11

H: That’s a good idea

B: Just take some time out – five minutes – to have a hot drink, to have something to eat. And you’ll be amazed at how much energy then it gives you throughout the rest of the morning

H: Yes, and most people have got bread in their cupboard, or you can make your own bread. It’s becoming more popular actually to make your own bread isn’t it? We sent Fiona into the kitchen to tackle a little bit of sandwich making for us and take a look at this. She had some fun in there.

B: So it’s time to spice up your lunch box and think about some new filings for your sandwiches. I’m going to start by making a very basic chicken sandwich. Now, I’ve got sliced white bread here, some of you might be surprised to find me using sliced white. I think there is a perception that white bread is unhealthy. In fact white bread, like all other breads, provides important vitamins and minerals, things like calcium, it also contains fibre. So if you, or your children, prefer white bread there’s absolutely no reason to feel guilty about eating it. So I’m going to start by spreading the bread with some polyunsaturated margarine, or what I like to use is a little bit of mayonnaise. Obviously if you’re preparing the sandwich for yourself and you’re watching your weight, use a reduced fat mayonnaise, if you’re making it for a child, I would recommend using the full-fat mayo, because they need the calories, they need the energy. Spread it very thinly and then you can add to that either some chicken that you have left over from a chicken that you may have prepared earlier in the week, or some ready prepared chicken. So a couple of slices of chicken. And then in to that, I’m going to add some sliced pepper, either red or green pepper and a couple of slices of celery. This will give the sandwich a nice crunch, and obviously it contributes to your five a day as well. OK. There you are. If you wanted some more ideas on using chicken and you like spicy food, or your children like spicy food, you could mix the chicken with some tomato salsa, or another idea is to perhaps mix the chicken with some Caesar salad dressing and then you could add something like some dried apricots. Now, as well as varying your sandwich filings, try and think about varying the type of bread that you use. There are over 200 different varieties of bread so there’s plenty of choice. You can see here we have bread rolls, wholemeal, multi-grain bread, or even some of the continental breads like foccacia or ciabatta. Pitta bread and wraps work very well in lunch boxes. Now, a couple more ideas for you. Firstly a great idea for a quick breakfast, or even a quick snack. If you take some multi-grain bread, toast it and then top it with a little bit of ricotta cheese, that you’ve sweetened with either some honey or a little bit of sugar, and then you can top that with some sliced strawberries or maybe some sliced apple. Another idea for topping for breakfast would be to toast some bread, spread it with peanut butter and then top it with some mashed banana. So why not give it a go?

H: Well, there’s an awful lot in bread. I didn’t realise that bread had quite so much calcium in it, Fiona, that’s quite surprising.

B: Well, you’re not alone. People tend to think of bread as just carbohydrate

H: Well, I would

B: Yes, but in fact well you drill down, as well as calcium, because white flour is fortified with calcium it’s got iron, it’s got B vitamins, it’s got fibre in, so there’s an awful lot in your loaf. And it’s not a cheap food, but it’s a very reasonably priced food, it’s very versatile, you can use the slices or you can crumb it and use it as a topping. It fits into each meal occasion, so there’s a lot you can do.

H: It does. And you can make your own, as you said, it is expensive, but it’s probably not if you make your own and you can put in what you like, can’t you?

B: Yes

H: Mich, you mentioned that you use your bread maker a lot. What are your favourite recipes?

C: Well, I love to use a blend of wholemeal and white flour. I find then that I get all the fibre and oompf in the bread that actually fills you up, as well as getting a nice rise on the loaf. And I put sunflower and pumpkin seeds in with the bread, so there’s lots of nutty texture and everything going on there and it works well then whether we’re using it for savoury or sweet, or just for a nice piece of toast. But I think that a lot of people do find that they have this misconception that they think that bread is going to be very calorific

B: Yes. I knew exactly what you were going to say. It is a popular misconception. A slice of bread – a medium slice of white or wholemeal – has about 77 calories

H: Which is not very much is it?

B: About the same as a banana. It’s often what you put on the bread that’s all the calories.

H: All that butter I like to have on my bread

B: Yes, yes

H: So bread’s not quite so fattening. So it’s a good thing to have in the store cupboard isn’t it? Allison, you’ve got older kids haven’t you? Do you eat a lot of bread in your house?

A: I have yes. I’ve got teenagers and the thing is, when my son comes in with his friends, it’s like a herd of wildebeest pass through the house, and I open my fridge and it’s completely empty, so actually having loaves of bread for them to make sandwiches, toasted sandwiches, because they can manage that

H: Yes

A: They can do a toasted sandwich, is a great thing. It’s also really good to have a bit of variety in the lunch box and I loved all of Fiona’s ideas for different types of sandwich fillings, because that’s another area where you can really spice things up a bit, with lunch boxes

H: Definitely. And having things in the freezer, if you can do…whenever I make a shepherds pie or something, I always make too much mince and I put it in little boxes – I’m so, so sad! – and then you can have a spaghetti bolognaise if you’re just in a hurry to get back and it’s on the table before you know it. I sound like a super-mum now. I’m not really, that’s the only thing I do do, but anyway. That’s enough of that! Well, stay watching because next we’ll be tackling your live questions

BREAK

H: Hello. Well, if you’ve just joined us, we’re talking about how to get a life balance in our busy working lives as busy mums. We’re going to take some of your questions now, because we’ve had quite a few in. I’ve had one in from Kelly-Ann, she says “My kids don’t understand me time. Can you tell me what I can call it so that my children don’t get upset?” Oh bless! As soon as you try and do something, they’re like a cat, kids, they’re all over you aren’t they? How do you cope with that?

A: Well, I think first of all, you’ve got to plan in where you’re going to have your me time

H: Yes

A: And if that means actually removing your children from the equation, that’s maybe what…maybe dad needs to help out a little bit

H: Yes

A: I thought it was interesting in the survey, it said that over 30% of dads…a lot of mums, women, felt that their partners weren’t that helpful so…more than 30%...so I think actually delegating a bit of childcare to your other half, so that you can have some me time and maybe call it something that resonates a bit more with the children. Mummy’s special time…

H: Yes

A: Mummy’s play time…

H: Yes

A: Something that they understand. They understand play time so talk in language that they understand, but the key, key thing Kelly is to plan it in, decide what me time is for you and book it in. Make an appointment with yourself and treat it with the same respect that you would a doctor’s appointment, or a dentist’s appointment. Don’t cancel it!

H: Yes

A: And make sure the children are taken care of. If that’s what’s stopping you, get dad to look after them

H: Yes, of course

A: Whatever it takes

B: I guess you could even ask a friend

A: Absolutely

B: If you’ve got a friend with similar aged children, just do a swap. So, “I’m having my me time between 4 and 5 on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Yours are the other days”

H: Because we’re all happy to help each other out actually, it’s just sometimes you feel embarrassed to ask, because a lot of people have family support, don’t they? I don’t particularly, so I feel sort of embarrassed about asking other people for help, because you think “Well, they’ve got their family”. It’s difficult, isn’t it, when you’re sort of on your own, as it were.

A: Yeah, and I think the way that society is at the moment is that obviously families are more dispersed, so I think that calling on friends for support is a really, really good idea. And let’s face it, we’re all in the same boat, so I think if you can get some kind of mutual arrangement going, it’s really, really helpful. And yeah, Kelly, you’ve got to get some me time. I need her to get some me time!

H: You go mad otherwise, don’t you?

A: Yes!

H: And then you start shouting at your kids and it all goes down hill

A: Yes

H: We do all need a bit of time off don’t we, at the end of the day?

A: Yes

H: Right. We had another question in from Debbie from Norfolk. “Should we avoid eating bread in the evening?” There we are. Is that an old wives tale? Fiona?

B: Absolutely no reason why you should avoid eating bread in the evening. In fact, carbohydrates of any sort are part of a healthy, balanced diet, so no…if you want to have bread…And if anyone is interested in any recipes, there’s lots of great recipes of evening meals that include bread on the website, which is fabflour.co.uk

H: Which is put together by the Flour Advisory Bureau and it’s a brilliant website actually. We’ll give you that address again at the end of the show. It’s fantastic, there’s so much information on there. Right, another question in, keep them coming. From Jennifer, “I’m a young mum, my daughter is four and starting school this September,” same as my little girl, “I’ve been an avid food blogger” – oh! “and want to start a catering business. I’m excited to be getting much more time to myself now my child will be at school, but don’t want to get myself into too much, too quickly. Do you have any advice, Mich?”

C: She’s doing it at a fantastic time. You know anybody who’s getting in to…with young children it’s so, so hard at that pre-school time to try and put a business together if you haven’t already got a daily working routine. Starting a business now, as the little one’s going off to school is a great time. I would say start slowly. Don’t run before you can walk and you are in control. It’s so easy as you were saying, not to say no to people because you don’t want to lose any opportunities that might come through the door

H: Yes

C: But it’s worse if you don’t fulfil your role as that catering person, if she wants to start a business. Start small and allow yourself to build up gradually, organically, rather than going hell for leather, over committing and then stressing out that there really isn’t the time. And it is tricky, because I’m in a situation where, when we work with weddings, you know you get weddings coming in, and they can fall right when you think you’re going to have a weekend off, or you think you’ve got holiday time, and there are so many occasions where I’ve had to cancel – family occasions and holidays and trips that I’ve had booked, because an event has come in that I’ve just felt I cannot say no to.

H: So you have to prioritise

C: Normally, they’re A-list celebrities and you really can’t say no to them!

H: Yes! I’m sorry, I’m going to…have to butt in there

C: So you really have to…have to understand the balance, but I think that modern technology has really done wonders for the working woman

H: Yes

C: And not necessarily mums, but working ladies, you know when you have access to your Blackberry and your internet and your laptop and your skype, you do have a lot more scope to be able to respond to people at any time of the day or night, when it best suits into your life plan. Having said that, of course, you do have the drawback that when the Blackberry’s on, it’s always on

H: Yes

C: And we do feel this incredible urge to respond as soon as things come through and I think that people expect that these days

H: Yes

C: That they expect people to have Blackberrys and they expect people to respond that much faster to their needs and I think that’s frightening

H: Yes. Wherever you are, they can get you, can’t they?

C: Absolutely

A: You do need to, if you are working in any environment, to have your cut off point. What are your boundaries and actually stick to them. Otherwise, you can end up working day and night and that’s when we start to feel very unbalanced.

H: Yes. So know your limits, don’t run before you can walk, but good luck. You can do it! September isn’t it, it’s all going to happen! OK, well before we go, last word from Allison about how to get your life in balance. What’s the biggest tip you can give to mums out there?

A: I would say learn how to say no.

H: Right

A: And here’s three ways you can do it. Number one, just practice saying it in front of the mirror. Thank you, but no. Just practice. Number two, if someone asks you to do something, basically you can say to them can I think about it? So it gives you a bit of breathing space and number three, if you feel that you can’t do something, maybe you can do something else for them instead. “No, I can’t sell raffle tickets but I can run a stall”. Whatever it is, just learn how to say no and you will get a little bit more balance in your life, I promise!

H: Yeah, OK. Well, listen, thanks very much Allison, Fiona and Mich. It’s been really interesting stuff. It lets us know that we’re not alone really. We’re all struggling to keep up but we all get there in the end, don’t we? Well, if you want some more information about the merits of bread and some fantastic recipe info, you can go to the website, which is put together by the Flour Advisory Bureau and there’s absolutely loads of information on there. It’s fabflour.co.uk. Well, happy bread making and we’ll see you next time. Bye bye.

BBBBbBBBBB BBBBBB

Still got a question or comment?

Name

Your question Question

Enter code